Overcoming Myself

So it has been a year since I last posted in this blog.  A lot has happened in a year.  But something I've been realizing is that I lack self control. I suppose that I always have.  But I realized how this affects every single part of my life.  From how I relate to myself to how I relate to others.  So my current prayer is that the Lord helps me to gain control over myself.  I know that I can't do this alone. I need God's to help me achieve it.  I am currently eating low carb to lose weight and I have as of today lost 38 lbs.  I have a long way to go because I want to lose 126 total. God has helped me to get this far I know He will help me get the rest of the way. But I need big help in overcoming myself completely.  While writing in my prayer journal this morning I realized how often I"ve caused other pains but was so caught up in myself that I didn't see their pain as much as see the pain they may have caused me.  Putting others before yourself is a crazy hard thing to do.  But starting today I really hope that the Lord sees fit to bless me with the graces I need to get myself under control.  And think less of myself and more of those around me.

I have also decided that I want to publish my poetry and some kids books I have written.  My poetry is not so great but it speaks what is in my heart so I want to share it.  The kids books I need my husband to draw the artwork for and since he's not so keen on doing that they may not see the light of day for a while.  But I'm going to have to self publish which will mean that I have to overcome my spending to be able to achieve that goal.  With God I can accomplish anything.

God Bless

Facebook failure

So I failed at giving up Facebook. Really, I never succeeded at actually beginning to give up Facebook. I deactivated but when I realized that all you had to do was sign back in to get your account going again I realized I wouldn't have the strength to stay at it for long. I still find myself signing in just to sign in and see what is going on way too frequently. So I figure I will try in baby steps. I will give up Facebook for Lent and try to concentrate on spiritual reading and going to confession as much as I can this Lent. I will keep Facebook Messenger since this is my main way of talking to my Mom but the whole of Facebook I will avoid this Lent.

God bless you!

Giving up Facebook

This is something that folks don't seem to understand.  I have been getting a lot of why on earth give up Facebook?  Basically, I have zero will power and it is a time sucking, brain cell killing, poor use of my day.  That sums it up.  Now whether I can truly do this, we shall see.  I have given people until Sunday to let me know emails or cell numbers so that I can keep in touch outside of the only way I have communicated in years. I will document here if I succeed or fail and how my days go without Facebook.  If I fall into a withdrawal induced seizure or something over lack of following friends and people I barely know up to the very second of their posts, I will try to write an update on here from my hospital bed. Wish me luck.

Wearing dresses/skirts

For quite a while now the Lord has put in my path women who only wear dresses or skirts.  I've read quite a few books on the matter and have felt drawn to do this several times over the years.  The thing is I am a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl.  I always have been.  So I don't own a lot of skirts or dresses and the ones I do I don't wear all that often.  But that being said today is day two of another attempt at just wearing skirts or dresses.  Truth be told I don't think I own a dress.  I tend to favor skirts.  I am going to be on the look out for a comfortable skirt to mow the grass in.  My skirts are all long and flowing and I don't think that will be suited to one of my favorite chores.  Lawn mowing.  I really don't like how I look in skirts/dresses either.  I am overweight and I just don't like how dresses and skirts fit all that much.  But I will slowly have to grow my closet and see if I can make this work. Wish me luck! 

Midnight Ponderings

As I lay awake unable to turn my brain off at night sometimes God gives me insights into myself.  I remembered a debate I got into on Facebook with someone over gay marriage. As I am a Catholic faithful to the teachings of the Catholic Church I really don’t feel the need to go into my position on it here.  That being said I was debating this with her.  I prayed and felt the Holy Spirit with me in this exchange.  But I quickly realized, too, that the devil was doing his best to thwart my efforts at helping her to see the truth.  I realized this because my computer kept locking up.  I would have to restart the computer every single time I tried to type a response to her.  It got me so frustrated that each time I did that I wouldn’t say what I wanted to say quite as eloquently as I had the first time.  I could only pray that I had somehow planted a seed.  My computer had not done that before and it hasn’t done it since.  Which led me to wonder.  Maybe it hasn’t done it since because I haven’t said anything that the devil feels the need to thwart.  I haven’t been saying anything that makes the devil uncomfortable.  If I am not saying or doing anything that makes the devil uncomfortable I am failing at the call from the Church to evangelize.  Just the midnight pondering of a simple Catholic women.  Like it or not.

Relativism

I have said this many times before and I fear it needs to be constantly repeated.  Truth is not relative.  It doesn’t fluctuate with “the times”.  It doesn’t change according to what each individual perceives it to be.  Truth is truth.  There is only one truth and it never changes.  We have a multitude of religions now and everyone claims theirs to be the true religion. There can only be one that is true.  The Holy Spirit can not be divided.  There is only one truth.  I think that the vast majority are leaving religion because they have too many options and rather than research and truly seek the truth they take the easy way and decide to not decide. People have decided to do their own thing and have convinced themselves that it’s all good and everyone gets to heaven in their own way. In deciding not to seek truth they have to let everyone else just think and do whatever they want, as well.  The thing is with this thought people who actually stand by and hold to core beliefs threaten them.  They force them to see that maybe not everyone can be right and in doing so they become the enemy.  But it is what it is.  Truth is not relative no matter if you want it to be or not.  There is only way true way to heaven.  If it were as easy as everyone nowadays thinks it is then Jesus sure wasted a lot of time warning us about hell and telling us that the path to heaven is a narrow one.  And since Jesus didn’t waste one little bitty second of His time on earth but spent every breath to save your soul you would be wise to take heed.  Stop being lazy and start researching.  Start with the Catholic Church.  She has held the keys from the beginning and she is the one who will show you the way to that narrow path and if you listen to her you will find yourself crawling on that narrow path towards the truth that as a people our souls all crave.

Religion

Religion has become the new four letter word. People like to claim that they don’t need a religion.  They have God in their heart.  Religion is dead and God is the living God.  So they have their own spirituality and people who follow a religion are just following empty rituals and not really close to God.  Let me make something clear.  My religion brings me closer to God.  It doesn’t separate me from God or waste my time.  Every ritual that you claim is empty is geared towards bringing my mind and body closer to God.  It is the physical action to the mental prayer. Every statue or picture you like to claim is an idol actually allows me to lift my mind to heaven.  Every prayer you say is just repetitive and empty words while holding pointless beads, are prayers said to speak my words to God while meditating on His goodness.  Every bead I touch or crucifix I hold is a way to touch my King until I may someday get to touch Him in forever.  Do you see all my senses are engaged?  The hearing, the sight, the touch, even the scent through the smell or incense or candles, and the taste when I am blessed enough to receive my King in the Eucharist.  My whole being is engaged in raising my soul up to God.  So maybe you don’t need what you see as a silly ritual or religion but that silly ritual and religion lifts my entire being up to my Christ Crucified for me. So those of you who claim to be above those of us who “need” a religion you are the poor soul missing out. Not I.  I am completely and fully engaged in drawing myself to my Lord with every gift He has given me.  So I will stay Catholic whether you like it or not.